I am turning 30 this Sunday! WHAT!? It is kinda crazy lol. When I turned 25 it hit me HARD. I wasn't at a point in my life where I wanted to be so that was really the main contributing factor, but this time I still am not where I exactly want to be but I am learning to just go with the flow.
So to celebrate (and kinda copy Jenna Marbles on YouTube lol), let's do 30 things that I have learned in my 30 years! These are in no particular order. I have just been writing these down as they come to me so here we go!
1: Know people change, even you
I am not the same person I was even 5 years, shoot 3 years ago. Especially since having babies, I am so different. So embrace the change, welcome it, and also don't expect others to stay the same.
2: Be willing and open to learning
This kinda goes hand in hand with 1. You will change, so with that change be open to learning. Don't always follow what you have been told in life, figure it out for yourself.
3: Be unapologetically uniquely YOU
For so long I really feel like I was hiding who I am. Like I am WEIRD lol and I embrace it now. And don't try to fit into some category, unless that works for you. I like a little of everything and that works for me.
4: Find someone like you to marry
What I mean by that is don't marry someone with the intention of changing them because guess what you wont. And it will cause a lot of fights or just a miserable marriage. You need to mesh and be able to like your own things, but still have things that you can do together.
5: Know you dont have to be with anybody and nobody will complete you like you will
This is really freeing in my opinion. What I want anyone reading this to know is that you are strong and capable enough to be on your own without the help of anyone. So the minute you are in a place that you are stable enough to be by yourself, but you find someone that you just want to be with all the time, know that they are your person.
6: Be open to opposing views and know when to change yours
There is a lot going on in our country right now. If you haven't stopped to question your views on things, I invite you to do that now. Have an open heart and mind to listen to others. You may disagree with them, but at least you listened and came at it with love.
7: Your body changes, embrace it
Man if I could tell to my 25 year old self now I would have saved myself some unnecessary dieting. I will tell you that I am not where I want to be with my body right now, but you know what, I have given birth to two beautiful baby girls, have a great marriage, and am working on getting healthier. That is what matters.
8: Be ok by yourself, discover yourself
So this kinda goes hand in hand with knowing that you don't HAVE to be with anybody. Like I love to be just by myself and I really wish for others that they could have that peace too. I think as mom's a lot of us come to just crave alone time. But I wish that even younger people would realize that it is ok to be by yourself. It doesn't make you weird or a loner, it really means that you are just comfortable with who you are and that is empowering.
9: Marry your best friend
I know that this is said a lot, but it really is important. I think one thing that undermines a marriage is talking to people outside of your marriage about your issues or things that you really should be talking to your spouse about. Also, being able to joke with your spouse about stupid stuff is so nice.
10: Save your money, but dont wait for retirement to enjoy life!
So one thing that I wish I did more as I started working is save more money. It also really could have helped in the beginning of our marriage. But, what I don't regret is going on vacations or buying things that maybe we didn't necessarily have the money fun, but we wanted to enjoy ourselves. Just remember that life is short, money helps, but it isn't everything.
11: Dont have a big wedding, save it!
So again this goes hand in hand with saving your money, but I think about this a lot know when we are having such a hard time saving money to buy our own house. Like if we had cut our wedding in half even and saved the rest of it, we could have had a really nice sized down payment on a house already! So just think about it lol.
12: Dont trust a fart
LOL this one comes from my husband. But it honestly couldn't be more true, especially when you are in public.
13: Its ok not to be ok
I have been living with this as my moto for months now lol. But it has really helped. I don't have everything in place and perfect, but that is ok. Some days I cant just mentally handle going outside with other people, and that is ok. So just remember wherever you are at and whatever you are struggling with, know that it is not forever and that you will get through it. And if you are just taking it day by day that is great!
14: Its never to late to start something new
Just Do IT! If people can go back to school and get degrees at 80 or even older, you can start that new thing at 30.
15: Be kind and forgiving
An old boss told me once that you never know what someone is going through at home. They may be grouchy and unpleasant at work or just out in public, that doesn't mean they are a bad person, they may just be going through some crap. So just always keep that in mind when dealing with anyone.
16: Find peace in the chaos
This is hard and not something that I have mastered. But I try to just remember on the days when my house is a mess and the girls are going crazy, that if it were any other way I would not have my beautiful baby girls and loving husband.
17: Good food doesnt have to be expensive
So I have gone to some expensive restaurants with work or just because we had a gift card. And let me tell you... some of those meals didn't even come close my Fugi Apple Salad at Panera or heck even a burger from McDonalds. Some of the best food I have had has come off of food trucks. So don't envy people going to expensive restaurants because most likely they are paying for half the food for twice the price.
18: Know your worth
Don't ever stoop down to someones level just to be with them or to be friends with them. Your time will come, so just trust the process, and know what you are worth.
19: Love even when it hurts but know when to walk away
So I say this cautiously. I do not mean to stay in a toxic or abusive relationship. What I mean is that love isn't easy, don't expect it to be. Sometimes you need to be there for someone through the bad to get to the good. But know also, that you can love someone with everything you have, and sometimes it just isn't enough. Sometimes you aren't the person that they need to help them or it just isn't your time yet to be with them. So recognize that and know when to walk away.
20: Dont just stick with something you dont like because it is easier
Always listen to your gut and change it. Being unhappy with something is never easier and you will always notice it.
21: Always listen to your gut
If I could tell this to my high school self I would literally scream it at her! Never doubt what you are feeling. If in the end you found out you were wrong about a certain situation, there is probably something behind the situation that just doesn't feel right. Trust that!!
22: Dont make art with the sole purpose of others buying it
So I have gotten into this trap and I think that is why it has taken me so long to sell anything. I would always go into a project thinking "Oh this will sell good if I did this or did that" but I never took into consideration if I would like to do it. And that is why it has taken so long for me to do anything because just the passion wouldn't be behind it. But I am working on changing that!
23: Do what makes you happy
Sometimes others wont understand it, but you need to do it! Life is just easier when we do the things that genuinely make us happy.
24: Nothing is black and white
Even when you think a situation is set out clear and you know everything, you don't. Trust me.
25: Kindness is always the best choice
Man if I could tell you the amount of times that I have wanted to bite someone's head off, but knew that it would get me nowhere, we would be here all day. But man it is so fun to watch someone get even more pissed off by killing them with kindness. That kinda sounds counterintuitive, but trust me, it is always better to be the kind one.
26: You will always have regrets
There was that trend years ago to "live with no regrets" and that is great in concept, but trust me you will always have something that you did that you will regret. What matters is how you came out of that situation and what you learned.
27: Dont have kids if you arent mentally ready for it
What I mean by that is, some people just aren't in a good place and have kids. And then man those kids get messed up and deal with a lot of crap that they shouldn't have to deal with. Kids change EVERYTHING. Realize that and be ok with that, and then have kids.
28: Never judge anyone
This is easier said than done, but really you don't know what they person is going through, how far they have come or what works for them. Like I see so many parents getting bashed on for doing things a certain way. But if the kid is happy, healthy, and alive, don't judge anyone for what they are doing. Same goes for any life situation. Just because you don't do it the way they do, doesn't make it right or wrong.
29: Live every moment like it is your last
We truly don't know what life holds for us or for someone else. So just remember to try and enjoy even the crappy moments. Sometimes those become the best stories.
30: Love NEVER fails
Corinthians 13:8. I think a lot of what the world is missing right now is just love. Not politics or policies. It is loving one another. And think about this verse and how the Bible very rarely uses such like final words. It's not like oh well sometimes it fails, or if you do this it will fail. No, it straight up says never. Like not ever, at no time with love fail. Just remember that. Even if you think you are failing someone, you aren't, it just may take some time to see it.
And with that I am off to turn 30! And as always